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PerfectTake a look at me,
And what do you see?
A perfect life,
A perfect, cookie cutter life?
You aren't on the inside
You can't feel it,
Can't see it.
It's pain inside,
Crashes and glides.
I can't show,
You cannot know.
So don't tell me You love me,
Because that will just hurt me,
You aren't on the inside,
You don't even know me.
Take a look at me,
And you see,
A perfect lie,
A perfect, deadly lie.
From an Insecure GirlfriendI'm sorry for the excess of apologies
And for all the thoughts that I've indulged
For dealing with the summer full of insecurities
That I only half-divulged
It's not easy living as an irrational being
That's motivated by her fear
But I could stand the poison I feed myself
If it stayed out of your atmosphere
I'm just a little lost, and a little dazed
At having someone that finds me fit
I've never had something this remarkable before
But I doubt I could have held on to it
And though I continue to learn and grow
To the shadow of the girl you deserve
There's still that something deep within
Controlled by assumptions both grand and absurd
And if I seem afraid of losing you
It's not that I don't believe your words
It's because I don't trust myself to keep you,
As is the way with cowards
But even though I'm a living mess,
A bundle of chaos upon your life,
That doesn't change that as long as I'm yours
You will make me feel alright
I know you say you're nothing amazing
Well, darling, neither am
:I Miss You:I Miss You.
I Miss You -
Three simple words
On one little page
But so is the feeling that can't be tamed.
I Miss You -
One small breath
Can utter this phrase
But it will never be said in hate.
I Miss You -
There are only three,
Three syllables that haunt.
Pathetic? Of course.
But if I didn't say them I'd rot.
I Miss You -
The one thing to say,
And that is all.
Is that I Miss You,
But I'll let you fly for me to fall.
Wish ListI want you to hug me. I want you to kiss me.
I want you to hold me tight and never let go.
I want you to hold my hand
and walk with me.
I want you to be there when I wake up.
I want you to talk to me until I fall asleep.
I want you to know all the private things no one else does.
I want to tell you everything.
I want to listen while you tell me.
I never want you to stop telling me how much you love me
or miss me when I'm gone.
I want to be with you in every way
every day after some day.
I want to be able to lean into you
and for you to know what it is I'm trying to say.
I want to kiss you, hug you, love you
from now until the day,
you want me to stop.
I want you to be there when I can't stop laughing
or when I cry,
because I will
even if I don't want to admit that I cry sometimes.
I want you to hear every quiet gasp
and to know whether it was from surprise or pleasure.
I want you to make me love you
the way I've never loved anybody before.
I want you to take my fears and
I can't always hold you together
I can't always be there to pick up the pieces
After you've shattered
Sometimes I'm selfish
And sometimes I shatter too.
But that girl you know?
The one who doesn't care what anyone thinks?
The one who doesn't give a rat's ass if she gets harassed
Made fun of
Made an outcast in the community she grew up in?
She's a fake.
She's a liar.
She's a damn good actress.
But she hurts just like everyone else
And she shatters.
Dear LifeDear Life,
You don't write to me as often as you used to. Was it something I said?
There are ropes creeping all over the floor. They have strangled a few rats, and are crumbling brickwork from the walls, but they make a good pillow. They especially cushion my neck.
The night air is cool and sweet against my skin. Bird calls are all I can hear. How does the air feel to them, sipping through their feathers? If I spread my arms wide enough, will the wind pull me up with it?
The tendrils that once proffered lilies flowing with sweet nectar now yield only poison.
I have come to appreciate its bitter taste.
Like coffee, it wakes me up in the morning, reminds me of what I have yet to accomplish. The sharp tang reminds me of what is yet to come, and I relish it.
Why the hell do they all think that you're so romantic? What's romantic about having your guts sprayed across the floor?
I'm not filled with sissy flowers and cutesy animals.
Death is final.
scars.and she found the perfect remedy
for this disease. she doesn't
recommend it, though for it
leaves the most prominent
skin bare and eternally.
"Why did queers have to ruin the rainbow for the rest of us?"
I'll tell you why.
Because rainbows appear after a rainstorm, after the darkness and fear and the anger of a thunderstorm. They come out with the sun, shining colors. They make you smile when you see them.
Well, we queers "ruined" the rainbow for you, because we need more reason to believe that the storm will pass.
We "ruined" the rainbow because we want to see the sun, we want to get past the storm, even though we're dancing in the rain, we can't dance forever.
We "ruined" those colors for you because we need the hope that there will be a day after the long, hard night, a lot more than you do.
As a community we are hated, shunned, abused and stomped on. People see us as disgusting, wrong, sinful or
Abandoned ChapelThe parish waits now,
the loneliness of corners
crawling outward on walls--
chipped away by the wind,
and held together
by silk spindles;
cobwebs align them like the membranes of memories,
the cut of a jewel in an broken window
against the sun
where beads of rain
gather in a mesh of strands
a new Mosaic
against the backdrop of a cemetery;
My eyes seek out the sermon
in close proximity,
paint no distance
between headstone and cloud;
elegies topple each other
in their climb to heaven
as light trickles
over the shade,
breathes a new glow over snuffed candles.
I feel the weight in these empty rows,
how a breath couldn't cease to be breath
in the midst of prayer.
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More